Things I Forgot To Remember
I am writing this at 3:00 in the morning. Why am I up at this time? Because I forgot to do something. Maybe you will relate?
I was stressing out about legitimate issues:
I’m not feeling challenged in my job and I fear I’m getting too impatient and ambitious, which would harm my chances to move up.
I missed a deadline to present at a conference, which spawns other examples to where I’ve missed out on other opportunities. Too late!
Legitimate issues. But not real issues.
See, I forgot the Buddhist / Zen / mindful teachings I tell everyone else to use: Our perspective is just that. One of many.
I forgot my הכרת הטוב (hachrot hatov - gratitude or thankfulness — literally “good remembrance or good knowledge”): I have a great job leading a team of talented individuals, helping them grow into their next roles. I have great mentors, supporting me as I grow. I have a great family supporting me too
I forgot my Jean Luc Picard: It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.
I forgot a personal mantra: I can only solve problems as they occur. Not before or after.
I forgot another personal mantra: I don't know everything. And most of the time I don't know anything.
Most importantly, I forgot that all these stressful thoughts are my perceived reality. That these stressful thoughts are my desired reality. That these stressful thoughts are in conflict with each other.
I forgot that it's not about made-up realities not matching each other. It's that they are made-up realities.
I forgot that suffering comes from our desires, our attachments.
I forgot that my perspective is so limited, I don't even know if what I desire is what I really want and need.
But then I remembered.
I remembered a Yiddish mantra I once heard: גם זו לטובה (Gam Zu l’tova - this too is good).
I remembered a Dharma mantra I once heard: just start over
I remembered that I am exactly where I need to be.
I'm glad I forgot all this.
So that I could remember them again.
So that I could share the wisdoms that I forgot.
So that someone else suffering might find (or find again) this perspective.